Bali ’99 – Human Cheese Grater
We (Dave Duffy, Ron McAddams and Glenn Policare) got up at dark again and
hailed a bemo for our unnecessary ritual of dawn patrol out to Ulu Watu or
Padang Padang. We were always the first in the water, if you don’t count
the tiger sharks and whatever other monsters were down below wrapping up a
nights worth of feeding. This particular morning was cranking. The line-up
was empty as all the surfers staying in the bungalow on the sand (R.I.P)
were still shaking off the effects of an evening with the native liquor
‘arak’. As is the case with all but 1 or 2 times I have been to Padang
Padang, heretofore referred to as (PP) for ease in typing, things didn’t
look quite right. The wave looks great in still shots but in real life was
90% unmakeable today. The waves start out all pretty and stuff and pinch
shut at the end. It is about 3-5′ HI-size. I chose not to risk making my
wrecked, but healing, back any worse so I opt to take pictures of Dave and
Ron, the organ-donors. Ron is a big fan of big death barrels, of any
quality. I come from the school of thought that if I want closeouts, I can
simply travel to the famously walled beach break of Manhattan Beach and
check into the Mom Hilton, instead of traveling 12,000 miles at great
expense.
Since I was a wee tot, I have enjoyed big waves crashing at sea or
through houses placed too close to the ocean. From the beach at PP, I can
see Outside Corners at Ulu’s heaving. I grab our driver and get a ride up
for some spectator sport action. It is pushing 10-15′ faces and kinda
gnarly. No one is out, the tide is high and the waves are sloshing around
in the cave. Just when I think I have seen enough, 4 ‘kids’ looking fresh
off the plane start bouncing down the trail to the cave. I take note of
their boards, which appear to be 6’6″s at most. They didn’t even look at
it. This should be good, I thought. At high tide, the water inshore by the
cliffs is like a river when it is big. You paddle out through a crack in
the cliff with razor sharp walls into the tempest. When I did it the first
time, it was pretty big, but due to the angle, you can’t see when the sets
are coming. So you get around the corner and get the sticker shock. The 4
make it out and here comes a set. From the top of the cliff it doesn’t look
that bad. One guy paddles his little board, goes nowhere, and gets sucked
over the falls. First wave, first board broken. Another guy gets pitched
and pounded. Good stuff. Under normal, out of control conditions like
this, getting in the cave is a 110% concentrated, premeditated event. If
you miss it, you get swept down the reef where you get to paddle out to sea
and up the point for another shot. Or give up and get swept to PP. The guy
with the broken board paddles his ½ board and misses the cave. Instead of
going for a lap, he climbs up on a rock shelf at the base of the cliff to
‘safety’.
Now, the rock in Bali is so sharp it defies geological weathering. Formed
of lava with lots of bubbles, it actually gets sharper as it weathers. You
can barely touch it without getting a scratch or a cut. The effect is worse
if your skin is waterlogged from sitting in the ocean getting drilled by
sets.
So I am leaning over the edge of the 200-foot vertical cliff to watch this
drama unfold. The guy gets up on the ledge but before he can turn around a
small wave sloshes up and knocks him forward right onto the cheese grating
rocks. He has some swim trunks to protect 10% of him. The guy is surely
alive but surely cut to ribbons. There is absolutely nothing I can do so I
leave. In order to make life interesting, some people take risks. Choose
your risks wisely.
